I get a lot of asks about what brands of bikinis I buy. Here in Hawaii, the less fabric the better and there are designer bikini shops on every street just begging you to give them all of your money. And I do. I compiled a list (with the help of my friends) of the 10 best bikini brands out there right now.
(Disclaimer: If you are looking for full coverage bikinis, this will not be a list for you)
Listen, you sparkly little Chihuahuas. We are going to have a heart to heart right now because this is my blog and I said we are.
As I have talked about previously on this blog, I was an extremely depressed person for a significant chunk of my 21 years of life. Towards the end of this perpetual gray cloud of melancholia, my insomnia had gotten so severe that I would go days without sleeping. During days, I went to work or school and plastered a smile on my face, but beyond the smile all I felt was numb. During nights, I was quite literally numb from excessive amounts of cheap vodka and lack of z’s. As my freshman year of college came to a close, that all changed, seemingly almost overnight. But I want to talk about why.
One day a professor at my university stated during a lecture that “you get to choose what defines you. Choose wisely.”
That single statement summed up the entire reason why I believe I was so unhappy. I used to think that was true. That by how I acted I would get to choose how the world defines me. But it turns out, I now have to whole-heartedly disagree with my dear tenured professor. You do not get to choose what defines you. How you are defined is based on the individual. Your boss and your best friend and the girl you were a bitch to in 8th grade and your ex-boyfriend and your current boyfriend and you mom are not all going to define you the same way. People will define you however they want to and that is not your choice.
But do you know what is your choice? Your actions. In a single day, I fully understood a concept which should have come easy to me my entire life: I do not get to choose how other people act, but I get to choose how I act. I do not get to choose how other people treat me, but I get to choose how I treat other people AND how I treat myself.
I was so wrapped up in my brother’s drug addiction and my mom’s relationship and my ex-boyfriend’s abusive words and impressing my dad and my boss and my professors and my friends that I didn’t even get a real life. I was so concerned about living up to what defines me, whether that definition be good or bad. But that isn’t ANYONE’S problem but my own.
I became happy when I decided I was going to do what I was passionate about, get healthy and treat my body how it should be treated, surround myself with the people I love, remove negative energy, and do all of that without any concern for how the rest of the world was going to define me.
I changed majors, I lost 30 pounds, I became a runner, I got a better job, better grades, and better relationships with my family and friends. I actually sleep now, my smile is real, I laugh all the time, I feel like I am just peeing fucking rainbows. All because I decided that I was going to take control of my actions and let everyone think whatever they wanted about me.
If there is one thing I am sure of after having this blog for almost 2 years, is that it seems that a lot of girls struggle with confidence. While I occasionally have days where I just look in the mirror and think holy shit did I chug a bottle of Jameson before bed because I look hungover and cracked out and fucked uppppppppppp, I am overall a very confident person. These are essentially the three things that made me that way
1. Don’t talk bad about yourself. If all I did was sit here and talk about the fact that I have a crooked chin and wide hips, guess what? People are going to sit there and notice my crooked chin and wide hips. My flaws are there and I give zero fucks because they are what make up me. Literally nobody pays as much attention to your flaws as you do, unless they are what you talk about. Don’t, under any circumstance, criticize how you look or what you do around other people. It gives them permission to do it too. In fact, don’t criticize yourself when you are alone either. You are pretty fucking cool and I think you should go out and be cool and not focus on the bad things. Everyone has bad things. Tell yourself all the things you think you are good at and showoff those physical features you like (I don’t care if it’s your eyes or your tits) and you will just be oozing confidence and it will show!
2. Don’t talk bad about others. I think there is no bigger tell that someone is insecure than when they push their insecurities on other people. Insulting others or making fun of them shows that you just lack confidence in yourself. Complimenting others (genuinely) and making other people feel good about themselves will, in turn, make you feel way better about YOU. Plus who doesn’t love a person who is just friendly and nice and fun to be around? You can be that person. You go Glen Coco.
3. Fake it till you make it. If you feel like the above two steps don’t work for you, fake it till you make it. I read this article in Cosmo once (Legally Blonde has taught us that this is the bible) that said that if you start faking an orgasm when you are close, it can trigger senses in your brain and you can actually have one. I like to think the same goes for confidence. You channel your inner Beyonce and walk around town like the bad bitch you are and own that street and own your self and be happy and wave and bend and snap and girl… that confidence will flock to you like a group of seagulls heading for a plate of french fries.